Duke Robert AuBuchon Born January 20th, 2021 1:17am 6 lbs. + 19.5 inches longDuke — after his Dad’s favorite college basketball team (yes, really.) Robert — after both of his grandfathers. — Duke Robert AuBuchon
Born January 20th, 2021
1:17am
6 lbs. + 19.5 inches long
Duke — after his Dad’s favorite college basketball team (yes, really.)
Robert — after both of his grandfathers.

Our sweet little man arrived in the early morning hours of January 20th after a very long couple weeks for this mama. If you know anything about my birth story with Zoïe, then you’ll understand why this birth experience was SO much harder and so incredibly different.

When our daughter was born just over two years before her brother arrived, she showed up on her due date and came swiftly and smoothly. You can read the full birth story of Zoïe Ruth HERE.

Mr. Duke decided before coming out of the womb that he wanted to be very different than his sister… starting with his birth. Here’s a little timeline leading up to his birth:

THE START OF MY PRODROMAL LABOR:

Thursday, January 7th — contractions started early in the morning… not too incredibly painful, but definitely more than just Braxton Hicks.

Friday, January 8th — contractions continued throughout the day and felt about the same as the day before…

Saturday, January 9th — contractions started gradually intensifying throughout the day and were much more painful by the time I was going to bed.

Sunday, January 10th — contractions had intensified so much I hardly got out of bed… and we * almost * went into L&D … but my contractions finally slowed and lessened a bit, so we held off.

Monday, January 11th — contractions picking back up off & on… went in to meet with one of our midwives… only dilated 1cm and looking like it’ll still be a while. (not what I was hoping for!)

Tuesday, January 12th — After a very long night of intense contractions, I decided to get up & get ready, take Zoïe to school, and go to work for a bit… Had VERY intense contractions by the time I got home, thought it had to be baby time, called our midwife who wanted us to stay home until my contractions felt a bit more painful… then my contractions stalled in the middle of the night again.

— at this point I was really struggling mentally & physically —

I continued on for a few days with the same kind of intense/painful contractions… they’d usually become longer & stronger (we’d think it was almost go time), and then stall out again.

Friday, January 15th — We finally went in to L&D Friday night after several hours of very painful contractions that became very close together… I was only 1.5cm dilated, so they had us walk the hospital for an hour, but ended up sending us home as I was still only 2cm.

We spent the next couple of days doing LOTS of walking trying to help my labor progress…

Monday, January 18th — Went into see our midwife. Still only 2ish cm (HOW?!)… she stripped my membranes, and said she thought we’d likely go into labor in the next 24 hours… it was just unfortunately progressing VERY slowly at this point.
We had Zoïe stay the night with some friends since my contractions were so painful & close together and we thought we’d be going in…

Tuesday, January 19th — My contractions slowed quite a bit around 5am, which left me feeling very tired & discouraged…
Around 9am we went a long & very cold walk around our neighborhood park. We then went on a wild goose-chase all around town picking up everything to make Midwives Brew to help with my labor progression. We picked up Zoïe around noon from our friends’ house and went back home to try to rest as my labor progressed more.

Midwives Brew — Definitely not good. Not necessarily bad. Somehow still made me feel like I would throw up.

Zoïe and I fell asleep on the couch and then I woke up around 2:30 to the most painful/intense contractions that I’d experienced so far. We went ahead and called Sam’s Mom to have her come down to stay with Zoïe since she was an hour and half away.

I continued to labor at home, and we tried to wait until my mother-in-law arrived, but with how long, strong, and close together my contractions were, it was time to head to the hospital. Our friends came over to wait with Zo, and we headed into Labor & Delivery.

We got checked in, got all settled into our triage room, and our nurse came in and got me all set up on the monitors and started checking vitals. I assumed at this point I was probably 5-6cm dilated and that labor would move pretty quickly. The nurse checked me… still only 2.5cm (WHAT?!) I could not believe we hadn’t progressed more than that. I felt so disappointed and knew they’d be sending us home with that low of a number. The nurse left the room and then came back in saying they wanted us to stay for a bit to watch something on the monitor. This wasn’t that unusual, so I thought nothing of it.

Our nurse then came back in about 25 minutes later and said, “Well, friends… you’re not going home. You’re having a baby tonight.”

Neither Sam or I really understood what was happening, and no one really explained anything very well at this point. Our nurse just said there were abnormalities on the monitor and we needed to get Duke out quickly and if I didn’t make progress quickly, we’d have to be induced. She then said we wouldn’t really be able to follow any of our birth plan… we wouldn’t be allowed to use the low intervention room like we did with our daughter’s birth, and had planned to with Duke’s.

Around 6:00pm we were moved into a normal L&D room, got hooked back up on the monitors, and had all of my vitals checked again. We were still fairly unsure of what was happening, when finally one of our midwives arrived and explained everything. Duke’s heart rate was dropping too low with every contraction I had and we had a fairly short window of time that this could continue, so he needed to come out. She said we had two hours to make progress, or we’d be induced.

Feeling very mentally, emotionally, and physically drained at this point.

I made a huge mental shift at this point, and not a good one. I was suddenly extremely worried about Duke, but was also trying to wrap my mind around having a completely different birth experience. I was already so mentally & physically exhausted at this point after having almost 2 weeks of prodromal labor. All of these changes made it really difficult to manage my pain. I had no laboring tub, no shower, no big bed… all things I’d had with our daughter’s birth that made it such a good experience. My stress level was also increasing with each contraction as I’d watch Duke’s heart rate continue to drop lower & lower. I was also so concerned about possibly needing to be induced, or even worse needing an emergency C-section.

My pain continued to increase while we waited for labor to continue progressing. With being limited on how to manage my pain, I struggled more & more the further along we got. It also seemed that any position I’d find that slightly helped with my pain was harder on Duke’s heart, so I’d always end up flat on my back on the bed trying to breathe through contractions… not fun and not easy.

Finally… 8:30-- the 2-hour mark…

FOUR CENTIMETERS! I felt so much relief that we’d made some real progress.

We had another two hours to get to 6cm or we’d have to be induced at that point. I felt so confident during that two hours while we waited. My labor felt like it was progressing so much and I actually thought we might be more than 6cm as we closed in on another 2-hour mark.

It was almost 10:30 and our midwife walked in to check me again… only 4.5cm, which meant it was time to be induced. I felt so overwhelmed with defeat and frustrated that my body wasn’t doing what it “should” be.

They started my pitocin around 10:45 and by 11:00 my contractions were so much more painful… more painful than I’d ever experienced (with this birth or Zoie’s). It was only about 15 minutes later that my water broke.

At this point my pain level was getting higher & higher, as well as my stress level. We now had a different midwife who knew me very well after being with us through both pregnancies and knowing what my last birth had been like. She told me she could tell I was not feeling like myself & that my stress level was way too high (she was right!)... so she started dumping lavender oil all over me trying to help me calm down.

I couldn’t even really breathe at this point, especially through each contraction. I was also now on oxygen to try to help with Duke’s oxygen levels, which ironically made it even harder for me to breathe.

I remember the moment I realized the best thing I could do for myself and for Duke would be to get an epidural… I kept pushing the thought to the back of my mind, though. I knew I could have a natural, unmedicated birth. I had done it before and I wanted to do it again. This birth was already so different, though.

Finally after 30 minutes of wrestling with myself, I looked at Sam with tearfilled eyes and told him I needed an epidural. I was too exhausted, too stressed, and I needed to be able to breathe. We quickly talked through things in between my contractions, and then he went and told the nurse.

Things moved pretty quickly from there and by about 12:45 I could no longer feel any pain with my contractions, I could actually breathe (hallelujah!), and while I was still worried about Duke, my stress level finally started to come down.

Our midwife told me she wanted me to rest for an hour or so to regain some energy and then it would probably be time to push, then she started to leave the room. I was laying on my left side, but with my next contraction Duke’s heart rate dropped quite a bit… Our nurse started to have me roll over to my other side to help with Duke’s heart, and also so that my epidural would stay balanced, but as I tried to roll over I realized that he was ready to come out now. I told the nurse and our midwife that I felt a lot of pressure while trying to move and that it felt like he was coming out… our midwife quickly checked me and said, “Oh wow! Yep… that’s because your baby is coming out right now!” There was suddenly a team of medical staff in our room and before I knew it I was pushing. After just a few pushes, at 1:17am on January 20th, our precious tiny son entered the world… eyes wide open staring at us as if he was just soaking it all in. I remember the second they handed him to me saying out loud how much he looked like Sam. How special, I thought, to have a daughter who looks so much like me and now a son who looks just like his father.

Duke’s birth was nothing like we planned… but we both made it out safe & healthy, which is all that mattered. I never in a million years would have thought I’d ever have a medicated birth, but in this case, it was exactly what I needed and was the best thing for us in that situation. It was also extremely special in its own way. I was so aware and coherent while delivering our son into the world, and was literally talking with our midwife throughout the whole process… very different from my birth with Zoïe where I was literally screaming and thought other people in the hospital probably thought someone was dying. It was so magical being in that mental space when they handed our son to me. All of that to say, there is no perfect way to birth every baby. For my birth with Zoïe, a natural birth was the best thing. With Duke, a medicated birth (even if only for the last 30 minutes) was the best thing. Every birth is so incredibly different & unique… and while I hope that if the Lord blesses us with another child I’m able to have a birth more like Zoïe’s, I’m still incredibly thankful for this story and for how Duke entered the world.

Due to Covid, we weren’t able to do an early discharge like you normally can when you work with our hospital’s midwives, which meant staying at the hospital for nearly 36 hours and not being able to see our sweet little girl that whole time. It was so hard not being able to introduce Duke to his big sister right away, but we left the hospital the first second we could! We hurried home and got to introduce our sweet kiddos to one another. It was such a sweet and magical moment to watch Zoïe meet her little brother for the first time.